Titles for Sale ?

The development of the Internet. has been a scam merchant's dream. It was so even before it could allow instantaneous commercial transactions, but now that the late-night reader, drifting tiredly and incautiously from site to site, may be persuaded to type in sixteen digits and an expiry date, the superhighway has become a fast track to easy riches.

Our interest is in the bucket shops selling "your coat of arms" and "the distinguished history of your name" ~ and in the sharks selling fake titles of nobility to insomniacs.

This month we wish to look at one of the title scams.

Now why should anyone wish to buy a title that can be bought? What value can that have? Let us allow the merchant to explain. Here he is ~

People want degrees and titles for different reasons. Here are some of the more common:

  • To gain equal status for a job interview or to attain promotion.
  • For prestige - i.e. to gain acceptance or a title, e.g. ?Doctor? or ?Lord?.
  • For addition to letterheads &c., i.e. to enhance business in a particular field.
  • To get qualifications missed out on earlier in their education.
  • To achieve recognition for experience gained in their given field of expertise.
  • As a door opener to follow a particular interest or enterprise.

That all seems fairly straightforward, but look carefully at the following:

To enhance both current and various fallback identities. Nothing lends more credibility to a new, alternative identity than an academic record dating back for decades. Only amateurs will rely on passport, ID card and driving licence alone to provide smooth mobility.

Better thoroughfare ~ as an academic scholar and/or an aristocrat, the chances are that you will most usually be given VIP treatment at no extra charge.

As an additional cushion against government thugs running wild ~ even hardboiled law enforcement officers (lower and higher echelons alike) are likely to be more polite, considerate and careful when dealing with "Prof. Dr. John Doe" or "John Lord of Doestead" instead of plain vanilla "Old John Doe the Pushover".

In most cases, degrees and titles spell out affluent well-connectedness, and civil servants, clerks and secretaries all over the world have learned to heed that lesson or ignore it with a vengeance. So what it boils down to is the insinuation that your international (if not local) contacts could create a considerable stink if you are not treated well enough.

In offshore business and finance, appearances matter more than elsewhere. If you are short of a credible bank reference, a title of nobility on a business card - preferably in combination with an academic degree - may very well do the trick on the fly.

Hence, valid degrees and titles are no mere vanity items to impress the clueless. Instead, they may very well pay for themselves many times over provided you play it right and employ them wisely and with proper discretion.

Well, that seems to be straight speaking!

So, what is on offer?

How about ~ "Nobility by Mail" and "Blue Blood for the Asking!"

The Following Titles & Honors Are Currently Available:

Scottish Lord titles ("Laird"):

Laird of Camster (fee: US$ 365)

Laird of John O'Groats (fee: US$ 960)

Laird of Cranachan (fee: US$ 2,300)

Laird of Muness (fee: US$ 8,300)

(Fees include DHL air courier delivery of documents.)

Note that these are no mere "mock" titles! They are very much for real, and public usage by holder is accepted by all UN countries, regardless of prevailing local political system.

Some jurisdictions even allow entry of nobility titles into holder's passport - please check with your local legal advisor whether this may apply to you and if so, how to proceed.

All titles come with a small patch of land: one sq. ft. each in the case of Camster, O'Groats and Cranachan, one sq. yd. for Muness.

Also included are ~ deed, coat-of-arms, ID card, documentation &c.

This is vital, as Scottish law permits transference of title to any owner of pertinent land, similar to the British "Lord of the Manor".

The difference in fee structure reflects the degree of discretion pursuant ~ while the "Laird of Camster" is fairly popular and hence rather well known (even too much so for some people's taste), the "Laird of John O'Groats" is a far more "discrete" (sic) title.

The "Laird of Muness" title is the most difficult and costly to procure.

Time frame ~ Please allow appr. 4-6 weeks till delivery.

A note on usage: The title "Laird" being widely unfamiliar outside of Scotland, it is common, acceptable and legally sound usage to convert it to "Lord" elsewhere. (QUITE UNTRUE - Editor)

Hence, you may sport a "Lord" with impunity on your letterhead, your business card, your door plate, &c. (QUITE UNTRUE - Editor)



Well, how do you feel about a title now?

Do you wish to read on?

 

LOWEST PRICES ON REAL NOBILITY TITLES

We are extremely pleased with the overwhelming, positive response given to the recent major breakthrough in getting genuine titles of nobility from the British Isles at the very lowest prices ever on the market.

You've checked out these titles, confirmed that they're 100% legitimate and the least expensive to be found anywhere. The response has been so enthusiastic that we now publish below a partial list of currently available baronial feudal offices.

Available offices of nobility in the British Isles -

Baron Marshall, Baron Bailiff, Baron-Chancellor, Baron Constable, Bailiff, Constable, Steward, Grand Falconer, Keeper of Swans, Master of the Keys, and Mistress of the Robes (other special titles upon request). The intended recipient should choose the rank above desired and a jurisdiction from the list below. As an example, a title choice might be: "Baron-Marshall of Britway". These titles are hereditary offices of nobility and are available for both male and female (i.e. also Baroness-Marshall of Britway). All titles will receive mention in the official Court Registers of each Baronial Court and will be listed in the Roster of Court Nobility published by each feudal barony from which these offices originate.

Jurisdictions available: (LIST DELETED BY THE EDITOR)

Note: When choosing a jurisdiction, please give three choices in order of preference to ensure that one of your requests can be met. Our fee is currently £1,340 / $2,000. For fastest service with credit card order via secured Internet connection, click the following icon (LINK DELETED BY THE EDITOR)

 

A Note from the Editor

It is, of course, almost unnecessary to state explicitly that the sales pitch set out above is all flummery, humbug, moonshine.

We could perhaps have ignored it, but we have been receiving enquiries from potential purchasers asking us whether these titles are real, whether the vendors are honest men, and if, after the enquirer has bought such a title, we could assure the buyer's friends that it is authentic.

Readers will have noted that no peerage titles are offered in the text reproduced here. (Although not mentioned above, there are "knighthoods" available also, but we shall ignore those for the present.) So we are thus dealing with feudal titles and imitations of feudal titles, and we appear also to be dealing with invitations to pass them off, once they have been bought, as peerage titles. Some of the feudal titles are Scottish in style (which is not to say that they are authentic), some may be Irish and some may be English or Irish manorial titles (that is, they are properties that carry the notional status of a "Lord of the Manor".)

A few centuries ago most of the genuine holders of such titles were noble by definition and the proof of that nobility (the test of that nobility) was the lawful possession of a coat of arms. Arms were and are the ensigns of nobility, and thus we have a simple test that can establish immediately whether the titles being sold are titles of nobility. Will the buyer be recognised by the relevant heraldic authority as the holder of a noble title? In Scotland the authority is the Lord Lyon King of Arms, and no one may present himself as an authentic laird, a noble, unless he bears arms lawfully granted, matriculated or recognised by the Lord Lyon.

Thus the man who pays his 365 dollars to become the Laird of Camster will receive his one square foot of land and his "deed", but the "coat of arms" promised will be a picture of arms that are not his, he will not be recognised by the Lord Lyon, and if he pretends to be a laird (or, as is advised, a lord) he will risk prosecution for false pretences when he uses that pretence to assist any simple commercial transaction (such as, for example, hiring a car). Moreover, it is unlawful in Scotland to use or display any arms unauthorised by the Lord Lyon. The penalties for first offences include confiscation of property and a fine, but second offences may merit imprisonment. That is the law, and the law is still valid. (A plea that the offender has paid US$365 for the arms will not amount to an adequate defence.)

It is possible to buy an authentic title in Scotland. We have been used occasionally by law firms to advise clients on such transactions, on their historical and financial value, and on their validity as titles of nobility. As a consequence of that experience it is worth noting that a genuine feudal barony can be sold for US$120,000 and a genuine feudal lordship (a barony of a higher degree) for US$180,000. Baronies whose documentation is less than perfect may be sold for lower prices, and then their status as baronies may be perfected by their new owner later. Prices such as those quoted above for Camster and Muness indicate immediately their worthlessness as titles of nobility (and manorial titles do not today confer nobility, nor do they justify use of "Lord" as a personal title).

Feudal Titles
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